At Arms Length

Held at arms length 
I struggle against the current
The expanding space between us muffling and dense 
I know that clawing the particles only pushes what I want away 
Yet I can’t help myself.

Abandoned. That’s how it feels when thoughts dwell in this space 
Picked up, enjoyed, dropped, forgotten.
A reflection on me more than it is on you
Though the bitterness wishes you swim harder 
Over thinking, complicating our honest simplicity 
Tugging only loosens my grip 
The internal longing causing me to slip  

Hot faced and cold handed
lost balance 
Life teaching me to let go
Practice non attachment 
What I have is enough 
And there it is;
That innate red power waiting 
At the pit of my spine
An energy that knows more than my thoughts will allow right now
Of wonders in the unknown 
and the potential that’s ready to seep through the cracks of life’s lessons
A constellation of scarring, bruising and bustling health 
That compiles this moving vessel I command

So I stop resisting 
Accept that control is an unachievable invention 
And how wonderfully freeing it is 
Embracing the chaos 
Unleashing this orchestra of vibrations to disperse
Leaping into the unknown with shear faith it will catch me and weave me into the complex tapestry of this universe.